Finis!

Woohoo! I finished it! LOL Looks much more impressive in person since the colors shift from every angle due to the layers of color. It's 36x48, so the size makes a difference as well. New subject matter for me, so I'm rather proud of it.

Now, if I can only get off of my ass and get a new canvas roughed in...

Buddhist Thoughts...

"The greatest achievement is selflessness.
The greatest worth is self-mastery.
The greatest quality is seeking to serve others.
The greatest precept is continual awareness.
The greatest medicine is the emptiness of everything.
The greatest action is not conforming with the worlds ways.
The greatest magic is transmuting the passions.
The greatest generosity is non-attachment.
The greatest goodness is a peaceful mind.
The greatest patience is humility.
The greatest effort is not concerned with results.
The greatest meditation is a mind that lets go.
The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances."
Atisha.

"Aware of the suffering caused by the destruction of life, I vow to cultivate compassion and learn ways to protect lives of people, animals, plants, and minerals. I am determined not to kill, not to let others kill, and not to condone any killing in the world, in my thinking, and in my way of life.”
Ven. Thich Nhat Hanh.

"When the mind begins to become still, we then begin to truly see it. When you first try to stabilize and pacify the mind, initially it will become very busy because it’s not accustomed to being still. In fact, it doesn’t even necessarily want to become still, but it is essential to get a hold of the mind to recognize its nature. This practice is extremely important. ... Eventually you will find yourself in a state where your mind is clear and open all the time. It is just like when the clouds are removed from the sky and the sun can clearly be seen, shining all the time. This is coming close to the state of liberation, liberation from all traces of suffering. ... The truth of this practice is universal. It isn’t necessary to call it a religion to practice it. Whether one is a Hindu or a Moslem or a Christian or a Buddhist simply doesn’t matter. Anyone can practice this because this is the nature of the mind, the nature of everyone’s mind. If you can get a handle on your mind, and pacify it in this way, you will definitely experience these results, and you will see them in your daily life situation. There is no need to put this into any kind of category, any kind of "ism."
Venerable Gyatrul Rinpoche

The Eight-Fold Path
Sila is morality — abstaining from unwholesome deeds of body and speech. Within the division of sila are three parts of the Noble Eightfold Path:
1. Right Speech — One speaks in a non hurtful, not exaggerated, truthful way (samyag-vāc, sammā-vācā)
2. Right Actions — Wholesome action, avoiding action that would do harm (samyak-karmānta, sammā-kammanta)
3. Right Livelihood — One's way of livelihood does not harm in any way oneself or others; directly or indirectly (samyag-ājīva, sammā-ājīva)

Samadhi is developing mastery over one’s own mind. Within this division are another three parts of the Noble Eightfold Path:
1. Right Effort/Exercise — One makes an effort to improve (samyag-vyāyāma, sammā-vāyāma)
2. Right Mindfulness/Awareness — Mental ability to see things for what they are with clear consciousness (samyak-smṛti, sammā-sati)
3. Right Concentration — Being aware of the present reality within oneself, without any craving or aversion. (samyak-samādhi, sammā-samādhi)

Prajñā is the wisdom which purifies the mind. Within this division fall two more parts of the Noble Eightfold Path:
1. Right Thoughts — Change in the pattern of thinking. (samyak-saṃkalpa, sammā-saṅkappa)
2. Right Understanding — Understanding reality as it is, not just as it appears to be. (samyag-dṛṣṭi, sammā-diṭṭhi)

May you find peace in your soul.

Coping with ADD

The other day, I had the misfortune of a long wait in a doctors office and had forgotten to bring along a book... Sacrilege, I know! I looked around, expecting to find ancient copies of Better Homes and Gardens (the New Victorian Craze!) or at least a National Geographic. Nope. Nothing. Nada. Just one half-shredded issue of Game and Fish in a basket full of "publications".

I don't know what to call those things... They haven't enough pages to be a magazine and they're too large to be called a pamphlet. You know the ones, all about various medical conditions. Well, lo and behold, there was one called "Attention: Information and Support for People Affected by AD/HD". Cool!

I picked it up and scanned through it. Lots about medicating and even an article in Spanish. But there was one particular article that caught my eye, "Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About AD/HD Coaching (But Were Too Busy to Ask)".

Back when I was young, ADD wasn't a known condition. I don't know if it was an available diagnosis, I only know that we never heard that term and no doctor ever suggested I might have it. When it was finally discovered that I am in fact ADD, I was already at that stage of my life in which I don't care for the idea of taking drugs for much of anything (there are a few exceptions, but I won't go into that here). Instead, I learned my own little coping mechanisms... All on my own! Aren't you proud of me??? LOL

Anyway, back to the article.

It seems that the idea behind this AD/HD coaching is sort of like AA or a Quit Smoking or Weight Loss program in that it provides the client with someone to back up the medication with a reinforcement regime and positive motivation. It's written by Nancy Ratey, EdM, MCC, SCAC (whatever all of those initials might represent!). What caught my attention (no pun intended) was her "Seven Coaching Tips".

1. Pre-Plan the Day Before
Always plan the next day before going to bed. This way you’ll have in your mind what you are going to do, when, and how. You will wake up more directed and centered.
2. Create Book Ends
Get up and go to bed at the same time each day. Having regular body rhythms, as well as predictability and consistency in your schedule, will help increase efficiency.
3. Exercise! Exercise! Exercise!
This is KEY to peak performance and to gaining focus and control. Don’t skip it ever!
4. Think in Terms of Threes
To reduce stress, ask yourself to name the three most pressing items for the day that, once completed, will make you feel a sense of accomplishment. These do not have to be BIG items; they can be returning a phone call, filing a file, etc. Write them down and keep that list in front of you. Cross each item off as you complete it. Then move to your next three pressing items.
5. Stop Avoiding
A well-known author once told me, “You become the first thing you do in the morning. If you want to be a writer, write.” People in general know which item on their to-do list that they want to do last. Identify that item and do it first. That is the first step in gaining control!
6. Park It
Distracted by random thoughts? Park them on a piece of notepaper to stay focused on the task at hand! By doing so you can go back to these items later and act on them if necessary. Often these distractions are just that distractions and not priority items.
7. Take Time to Play
Take time off as seriously as you do your year-end report. The cost-benefit of not taking breaks from today’s busy life only sets you up for burnout and loss of control.

Until I read this article, I hadn't realized that my personal coping methods were actually legitimate. I was amazed! And, here my kids just thought I was being anal. No. I've always told them that it's the only way I can get things accomplished since I'm so easily distracted (ooooooo shiny things... ). Here's my take on Ms. Ratey's steps:

1. Pre-Planning
At night before I do my boring little ritual (see prior post on ADD), I think about what I need to do the next day. Then I put these things into a sensible (to me) order. If I don't do it, then I don't typically accomplish much. It REALLY helps if I actually write myself a list, but that doesn't always happen. Witness, last night was an uncomfortable night for me so here I am writing this rather than getting to the things I should. I failed to create a plan.

2. Create Book Ends
I go to bed when I'm tired, so I guess I've never consciously tried this one. However, I usually wake up about the same time each morning and have my own morning rituals that I follow (read OCD!). After that, well, it depends on how well I've followed step 1.

3. Exercise! Exercise! Exercise!
Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! Yea, I DO have to have some sort of active period in my day. I try to make it something fun. Sometimes it's a game of musical furniture. In the spring, it might be musical garden! I had thought I'd reached the age at which I didn't need to move so much, but I recently had a friend nickname me "Pop Tart"... Guess I was wrong! Right now, I suppose my PT regime falls under the category of exercise (I can even read while I'm doing the routines on the Total Gym. Nifty, eh?). I've tried walking. Boring! Maybe someone out there can give me some pointers on this one? I've been forbidden to do yoga or real weights right now and can't do aerobics because of my knees. Frustrating!

4. Think in Terms of Threes
I've always kept a short list in my planning, then a list of "if I get this done, I can...". None of the things were as simple as the ones she suggests. But she has a great point about the short list. A sense of having met a goal spurs me on.

5. Stop Avoiding
Oh God! I am the world's WORST procrastinator! LOL Read this one over and over and over... It is a must!

6. Park It
Yup... Make those lists. There's a sign in ASL that can be interpreted as "off point", meaning to stray from the topic. That's me in a nutshell. I get so pissed at myself when I forget things I want to do. Definitely makes me a cranky girl and that helps nothing.

7. Take Time to Play
Did I mention that I'm sitting here at the computer rather than doing what I should??? I take my play time QUITE seriously. I blog, have pages on Myspace, Facebook, and Twitter, and I have friends with whom I e-mail on a regular basis. New comments and chatty e-mails are what make my day more positive and goad me on to do what I need to do. I also read and paint when the mood strikes me.

So, you see, my brain actually figured out something right all on its own. Amazing!

Whether you take medication for ADD or not, follow these pointers. They're great.

And, so I will leave you with a poem that I wrote back in 1992. This is really how my mind works... Scary, I know! LOL

I Can’t Think!

Firecrackers of color

explode in my brain.

Ideas plip-plop.....Wait!

What was that?

She said what?

I can’t do it!....or can I?

If I try?

What if I did this....

Frustration, confusion,

immense desperation.

INPUT........IN

PUT.....INPUT

Thousands of ideas

incomplete.

I feel another thought.....

I can’t believe he said that.....

What point was I making?

Who did what?

How could I......

But what should I......

I forget......

HELP!!!!!!

On Being Me

I'm an artist. It isn't just something I do. It is the who and what of me. It permeates all that I am, all that I do, how I react and behave. It is in my sleeping mind and racing thoughts. It is my soul.

I sometimes wonder why it is that I paint or create or write. I don't earn my keep by any of these means... It'd be nice if I could... And it's such an expensive process, in time as well as money. So, why?

It isn't that I paint all the time. But even when I'm not actively attacking a canvas, my brain is planning, building, developing... following that chain of "what ifs". It isn't even just my oils that suffer for my desire.

There's playtime with watered down acrylics ebbing and flowing in their pools of water in a battle between what I want and what they will. Chaos vs. intent. What a rush!

And my home bears with my need to create... Musical furniture and the push and pull of this going there and that going away until everything meets some inner agenda that my foggy brain must achieve.

Then there's me... with the tattoos and piercings and hippie chic.

The outside world redefines itself to my personal distinctions. I don't see race or age or gender. Rather, I see color and texture and shape. I walk through spaces arrogantly reassigning the placement of everything I encounter to match my inner rhythm. Only Nature is free from my mental gymnastics. It plays the song that drives me.

Words and feelings light another facet of my prism. All of these thoughts flashing through my head. I think... I believe... I KNOW... I know... I know... I know... Ideas that won't shut up until I speak them out loud or write them down. It's frustrating!

But, mostly I paint.

Do you know that the canvas sometimes scares me? It challenges me that I might fail. It stares with its monocular vision, saying "all right, what ya gonna do NOW?", "can you follow through with the next step?", "are you good enough?".

I'm good. Not great, just good. I don't have that "something extra" that strives for excellence. When I've had enough, I'm done with that particular piece. I can easily break it down to "this is wrong" or "that could be better". But, why? I'll do better on the next one. It's all a learning experience, a chance for growth. There's still so many times when I'm NOT good enough, but that's okay. I do what I do. I figure even the masters had an occasional crappy piece! LOL We just don't hear about it.

Right now, I'm in progress... First, I have this piece that is just too much fun. It's an up-close-and-personal a la Georgia O'Keefe of an oyster shell. I know I have a minimum of 30 layers of paint on it by now. It's getting close to done... But it isn't there yet!

It's full of irridescents and metallics. From each angle that I look at it, the color shifts and changes. I'm starting to build in the darks and lights now. Acrylics and water. The color pooling and sliding to create a thing of the sea. Rather poetic, don't you think?

There's a canvas on my easel as well. Prussian blue fading to a dark cerulean in one little corner. This will be the deepest ocean where a jellyfish of hot pinks and oranges dances ever so delicately. Oils are the only medium in which I can produce that fineness of existence. I'm looking forward to it... But first I have to let the background dry.

Lastly, there's the blank canvas leaning against the wall of my studio, still wrapped in plastic. It knows what it wants to be. But can I do it?

Each artist has their own forte. Not to say that's ALL they produce, it's just a tendency. Mine is the human figure in oils. In particular, the female form. "Paint what you know" is the mantra that I learned by, so what better than the gender I was born to?

I danced for a large part of my life, so I began painting dancers, then moved on. I was an interpreter (sign language), so have paintings that display the beauty of that language. Now I'm finally coming around to who I am in my soul by painting things of the beach and water. Do you realize how damned hard it is to try and capture something that changes in the blink of an eye? Wow! Wish I could get someone to show me how to do this... but I'll figure it out eventually... I hope!

People ask me all the time "why don't you sell your stuff?". It takes me at least 3 weeks to create a piece from start to finish. Perhaps it's that I started my life as an artist in the realm of the three dimensional, but I "build" my paintings, layer by layer. I work mostly in pure color and don't want this hue to pollute that tone. By the time I've called it done, they each have well over 100 hours invested in them. And people complain when I quote $1200 minimum? Nah, I think I'll just keep my babies.

I have over $1000 in brushes, $400 in paints, and a varying amount in canvases. Then there's thinners, extenders, varnishes, cleaners, conditioners, not to mention easels... Whew! Like I said earlier, this isn't some cheap pastime.

I think maybe I'm the bane of my husband's existence! LOL Poor baby. I put so much time and money into something he can't comprehend. But he knows that it drives me and it's who I am, so it's okay because he loves me. Good man, isn't he?

Meanwhile, here I sit at my computer, literally watching the paint dry... Waiting for that moment when I can carry out these temporary desires.

But if that blank canvas over there says ONE MORE WORD... LOL

Peace, guys!

Keepers

Y'all know that I don't believe in coincidence... Life is just so ODD sometimes! LOL

Recently, I posted about apathy and waste. Here's an e-mail I just received that I'd like to share...

Their marriage was good, their dreams focused. Their best friends lived barely a wave away. I can see them now, Dad in trousers, tee shirt and a hat and Mom in a housedress, lawn mower in one hand, and dishtowel in the other. It was the time for fixing things. A curtain rod, the kitchen radio, screen door, the oven door, the hem in a dress. Things we keep.

It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy. All that re-fixing, eating, renewing, I wanted just once to be wasteful. Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant you knew there would always be more.

But then my mother died, and on that clear summer's night, in the warmth of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't any more.

Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up and goes away...never to return. So...While we have it ... it is best we love it.... And care for it.... And fix it when it is broken..... And heal it when it is sick.

This is true... For marriage.... And old cars.... And children with bad report cards..... Dogs and cats with bad hips.... And aging parents.... And grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it. Some things we keep. Like a best friend that moved away or a classmate we grew up with.

There are just some things that make life important, like people we know who are special.... And so, we keep them close!

I received this from someone who thinks I am a 'keeper,' so I have sent it to the people I think of in the same way...

I've Just Realized...

Wow! I've been a bit angry lately, eh? LOL

I promise to try and get something a bit more upbeat on here soon... Really!

We Suck!

We have become a society of apathetic morons.

Let’s look at the environment… The experts have been telling us for decades that we’re fucking it up. We’re treating our world like it’s our own personal toilet. We’re constantly taking a mega-dump with all of the refuse of our lives.

Driving down the road and finishing up that burger and Coke… out the window with the trash. After all, we don’t want to mess up our cars, do we? Finished with that cigarette? Throw it out there, too. It isn’t going to start a fire. That’s crazy. And who cares if it’ll take a decade for that filter to break down? It’s just one little cigarette butt.

Tired of that old recliner? TV isn’t working quite right? Throw them into the local landfill. Why should we even consider fixing something when it’s so easy (and often cheaper) to replace it with something new. After all, we deserve the newest and best. Recycle? Reduce? Reuse? Why???

How about disaster victims? We look abroad to see horrendous things happen and we are SO there. People! What about the hurricanes, the fires, and the floods we have right here in our own backyards? Sure, at the beginning we’re all about “Oh, how awful” or “Send help fast”. But give it a couple of weeks and we start screaming at the Powers That Be about “wasting money” to help out the areas hit. Does the general public not have any idea how long it takes to rebuild?

We have our own poor and starving. Why are we so fixated on those in other countries? What's up with that?

We have a huge population of people with various conditions that require special considerations on a day to day basis.

The Deaf have their issues with the hearing. Hey, you can talk about a Deaf person right in front of them… If they aren’t facing you, they haven’t a clue. Pretty fun, huh? Yank their chain a bit? Why not?

Do you know how EASY it would be to teach our kids fingerspelling and American Sign Language along with their ABCs and grammar? Never mind that it’s been proven to reinforce learning in kids. But we teach our kids Spanish? What’s wrong with this picture?

Handicapped parking. Oooo, there’s a big one! Let’s borrow Grandma’s car since it’s cold and raining so we don’t have to walk so far. So what if someone has to unload a wheelchair or if they use a cane or walker. They might not even go to the store today.

There are countless individuals with diabetes, epilepsy, Parkinson’s, and more. We have a growing population of seniors. All of these people require various considerations or, at the very least, knowledge and understanding. Why should we take a bit of time to learn anything that might help make these people’s lives any easier? It isn’t us, right?

And God forbid that anyone should have an emergency requiring immediate attention by a government official, physician, or corporation. Have we cried “wolf” too often? The Powers That Be certainly seem inured to the possible need for an expedited solution.

We talk about how advances in civilization have made the world a smaller place. I say that the world is vanishing for many. We’ve taken advantage of the luxuries that computers have provided to the point that some of us don’t even have to leave home unless we choose.

We can shop online. We can work online. Hell, we can even have friends and lovers online without all of the messiness and time traditionally involved! The New Improved Friends in a Box! Need to take the edge off? We have the Lovely Libby Live on web cam! Yes, we can do it all on our own schedule for only $19.95. No muss, no fuss.

Back in the day, when someone moved into a neighborhood, there would be a welcome wagon. How many of us even know what our closest neighbors look like?

There was a time when our elders were respected and revered, taken into our homes if necessary. One of the largest growing businesses today is the nursing home or assisted living venue. Why should we be bothered if Grandpa can’t handle things on his own anymore? We’ve got things to do and people to see… Plus there’s that 9pm with the computer.

We are indeed a population of egocentric fools.

Is this a fad or a trend? I hope to hell it’s the former! If not, we are so screwed.

Yea… Apathy. It’s not just for breakfast anymore.

Quotes About Government

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed. If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. - Mark Twain

I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. -Winston Churchill

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. - George Bernard Shaw

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. - James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. - Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. - Frederic Bastiat, Economist (1801-1850)

Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. - Ronald Reagan (1986)

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. - Will Rogers

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free! - P.J. O'Rourke

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire (1764)

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you! - Pericles (430 B.C.)

No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session. - Mark Twain (1866)

Talk is cheap . . . except when Congress does it. - Unknown

The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other. - Ronald Reagan

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. - Mark Twain

There is no distinctly Native American criminal class . . . save Congress. - Mark Twain

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. - Edward Langley, Artist (1928 - 1995)

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. - Thomas Jefferson