We Suck!

We have become a society of apathetic morons.

Let’s look at the environment… The experts have been telling us for decades that we’re fucking it up. We’re treating our world like it’s our own personal toilet. We’re constantly taking a mega-dump with all of the refuse of our lives.

Driving down the road and finishing up that burger and Coke… out the window with the trash. After all, we don’t want to mess up our cars, do we? Finished with that cigarette? Throw it out there, too. It isn’t going to start a fire. That’s crazy. And who cares if it’ll take a decade for that filter to break down? It’s just one little cigarette butt.

Tired of that old recliner? TV isn’t working quite right? Throw them into the local landfill. Why should we even consider fixing something when it’s so easy (and often cheaper) to replace it with something new. After all, we deserve the newest and best. Recycle? Reduce? Reuse? Why???

How about disaster victims? We look abroad to see horrendous things happen and we are SO there. People! What about the hurricanes, the fires, and the floods we have right here in our own backyards? Sure, at the beginning we’re all about “Oh, how awful” or “Send help fast”. But give it a couple of weeks and we start screaming at the Powers That Be about “wasting money” to help out the areas hit. Does the general public not have any idea how long it takes to rebuild?

We have our own poor and starving. Why are we so fixated on those in other countries? What's up with that?

We have a huge population of people with various conditions that require special considerations on a day to day basis.

The Deaf have their issues with the hearing. Hey, you can talk about a Deaf person right in front of them… If they aren’t facing you, they haven’t a clue. Pretty fun, huh? Yank their chain a bit? Why not?

Do you know how EASY it would be to teach our kids fingerspelling and American Sign Language along with their ABCs and grammar? Never mind that it’s been proven to reinforce learning in kids. But we teach our kids Spanish? What’s wrong with this picture?

Handicapped parking. Oooo, there’s a big one! Let’s borrow Grandma’s car since it’s cold and raining so we don’t have to walk so far. So what if someone has to unload a wheelchair or if they use a cane or walker. They might not even go to the store today.

There are countless individuals with diabetes, epilepsy, Parkinson’s, and more. We have a growing population of seniors. All of these people require various considerations or, at the very least, knowledge and understanding. Why should we take a bit of time to learn anything that might help make these people’s lives any easier? It isn’t us, right?

And God forbid that anyone should have an emergency requiring immediate attention by a government official, physician, or corporation. Have we cried “wolf” too often? The Powers That Be certainly seem inured to the possible need for an expedited solution.

We talk about how advances in civilization have made the world a smaller place. I say that the world is vanishing for many. We’ve taken advantage of the luxuries that computers have provided to the point that some of us don’t even have to leave home unless we choose.

We can shop online. We can work online. Hell, we can even have friends and lovers online without all of the messiness and time traditionally involved! The New Improved Friends in a Box! Need to take the edge off? We have the Lovely Libby Live on web cam! Yes, we can do it all on our own schedule for only $19.95. No muss, no fuss.

Back in the day, when someone moved into a neighborhood, there would be a welcome wagon. How many of us even know what our closest neighbors look like?

There was a time when our elders were respected and revered, taken into our homes if necessary. One of the largest growing businesses today is the nursing home or assisted living venue. Why should we be bothered if Grandpa can’t handle things on his own anymore? We’ve got things to do and people to see… Plus there’s that 9pm with the computer.

We are indeed a population of egocentric fools.

Is this a fad or a trend? I hope to hell it’s the former! If not, we are so screwed.

Yea… Apathy. It’s not just for breakfast anymore.

Girlfriends...

More often lately, I seem to be getting e-mails that truly touch me, either in the funny bone or the heart... This is one I just received that reminds me of all of my Sisters:

GIRLS IN MY CIRCLE
When I was little,
I used to believe in the concept of one best friend,
And then I started to become a woman.
And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up,
God would show you the best in many friends.
One friend is needed when you're going through things with your man.
Another friend is needed when you're going through things with your mom
Another will sit beside you in the bleachers as you delight in your children and their activities.
Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be.
One friend will say, 'Let's cry together,'
Another , 'Let's fight together,'
Another , 'Let's walk away together.'
One friend will meet your spiritual need,
Another your shoe fetish,
Another your love for movies,
Another will be with you in your season of confusion,
Another will be your clarifier,
Another the wind beneath your wings.
But whatever their assignment in your life,
On whatever the occasion,
On whatever the day,
Or wherever you need them to meet you with their gym shoes on and hair pulled back,
Or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself ...
Those are your best friends.
It may all be wrapped up in one woman,
But for many, it's wrapped up in several..
One from 7 th grade,
One from high school,
Several from the college years,
a couple from old jobs,
On some days your mother,
On some days your neighbor,
On others, your sisters,
And on some days, your daughters.
So whether they've been your friend for 20 minutes or 20 years,
AND ONLY IF YOU'D LIKE TO,
Pass this on to the women that God has placed in your life
To make a difference.

Hurricane Preparedness 2008

This is from an e-mail I got and I thought it just too funny and too real not to reprint it here:



Any day now, you're going to turn on the TV and see a weather person pointing to some radar blob out in the Gulf of Mexico and making two
basic meteorological points:

(1) There is no need to panic.


(2) We could all be killed.


Yes, hurricane season is an exciting time to be in Mississippi.
If you're new to the area, you're probably wondering what you need to do to prepare for the possibility that we'll get hit by 'the big one'.


Based on our experiences, we recommend that you follow this simple three-step hurricane preparedness plan:

STEP 1: Buy enough food and bottled water to last your family for at least three days.


STEP 2: Put these supplies into your car.


STEP 3: Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Thanksgiving.


Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not follow this sensible plan. Most people will foolishly stay here on the Coast.


We'll start with one of the most important hurricane preparedness items:

HOMEOWNERS' INSURANCE.



If you own a home, you must have hurricane insurance. Fortunately, this insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long as your home meets two basic Requirements:

(1) It is reasonably well-built, and

(2) It is located in Nebraska .


Unfortunately, if your home is located in south MS, or any other area that might actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies would prefer not to sell you hurricane insurance, because then they might be required to pay YOU money, and that is certainly not why they got into the insurance business in the first place.


So you'll have to scrounge around for an insurance company, which will charge you an annual premium roughly equal to the replacement value of your house.
At any moment, this company can drop you like used dental floss.
Since Hurricane Katrina, I have had an estimated 27 different home-insurance companies.
This week, I'm covered by the Bob and Big Stan Insurance Company, under a policy which states that, in addition to my premium, Bob and Big Stan are entitled, on demand, to my kidneys.


SHUTTERS.



Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows, all the doors, and -- if it's a major hurricane -- all the toilets. There are several types of shutters, with advantages and disadvantages:

1) Plywood shutters: The advantage is that, because you make them yourself, they're cheap.
The disadvantage is that, because you make them yourself, they will fall off.


2) Sheet-metal shutters: The advantage is that these work well, once you get them all up.
The disadvantage is that once you get them all up, your hands will be useless bleeding stumps, and it will be December.


3) Roll-down shutters: The advantages are that they're very easy to use, and will definitely protect your house.
The disadvantage is that you will have to sell your house to pay for them.



'Hurricane-proof'' windows: These are the newest wrinkle in hurricane protection. They look like ordinary windows, but they can withstand hurricane winds! You can be sure of this, because the salesman says so. He lives in Nebraska .


'Hurricane Proofing' your property: As the hurricane approaches, check your yard for movable objects like barbecue grills, planters, patio furniture, visiting relatives, etc.
You should, as a precaution, throw these items into your swimming pool (if you don't have a swimming pool, you should have one built immediately).
Otherwise, the hurricane winds will turn these objects into deadly missiles.


EVACUATION ROUTE: If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an evacuation route planned out.
(To determine whether you live in a low-lying area, look at your driver's license; if it says anywhere in southern MS, you live in a low-lying area.
) The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being trapped in your home when a major storm hits.
Instead, you will be trapped in a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home, along with two hundred thousand other evacuees.
So, as a bonus, you will not be lonely.


HURRICANE SUPPLIES: If you don't evacuate, you will need a mess of supplies.
Do not buy them now! MS tradition requires that you wait until the last possible minute, then go to the supermarket and get into vicious fights with strangers over who gets the last can of SPAM.
In
addition to food and water, you will need the following supplies:

* About 23 flashlights.


* At least $167 worth of batteries that, when the power goes out, turn out to be the wrong size for the flashlights.


* Bleach. (No, I don't know what the bleach is for.
NOBODY knows what the bleach is for.
It's tradition, so GET some!)

* A 55-gallon drum of underarm deodorant.


* A big knife that you can strap to your leg.
(This will be useless in a hurricane, but it looks cool.
)

* A large quantity of raw chicken, to placate the alligators.
(Ask anybody who went through Katrina; after the hurricane, there WILL be irate alligators.
)

* $35,000 in cash or diamonds so that, after the hurricane passes, you can buy a generator from a man with no discernible teeth.



Of course these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near, it is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on your television and watching TV reporters in rain slickers stand right next to the Gulf and tell you over and over how vitally important it is for everybody to stay away from the Gulf.


Good luck and remember: It's great living in paradise!

George Carlin has taken his show to the high road...

I had posted this the day after George Carlin died...

A great man died yesterday, an unmitigated arrogant ass, but a great man. How can I say that? He WAS an awesome individual and an equal opportunity pisser. No topic was too great or too small for him to trash. And, through all of the laughter (as well as drinks snorted through the nose when I was caught unaware... He should have come with a hazard warning), he made us all THINK. God, what a talent! The funny thing is that I believe he'd agree wholeheartedly with my evaluation of him. I "grew up" listening to him and have raised my kids (don't get excited, they're adults) on his rambles.

Could you imagine if we'd had someone like him for president? I doubt our country would be in the mess it's currently in since he never was one to take any shit. And can you imagine him meeting our Maker??? Wouldn't you love to be a fly on the wall for THAT introduction!

My oldest son's favorite to this day is the famous "Seven Words You Can't Say on TV". He can practically quote it verbatim. Mine? "Give my love to Mary"... "How can you give your love to someone and would you want to"... LMAO Good stuff.

However, he really pissed me off personally in the preface of one of his books, I believe it was "Napalm and Silly Putty", when he was talking about how he really didn't care about anything. How can a person not care??? Like I said, an equal opportunity pisser. But I still admired him and always will.

So... Tell me what you've learned from Carlin or tell me your favorites. Hell, tell me what a jerk I am for calling him an arrogant ass!

"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."
"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. "
"Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did."
"People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think."
"Think off-center."
"Weather forecast for tonight: dark."
"When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat."
"When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands."

And, so, Mr. Carlin... I wish you peace.
"Toodle-oo, go with God, and don't take any wooden nickels."