Lessons from Elly

I have a wonderful, beautiful friend (of course, all of my friends are wonderful and beautiful!) named Elly... She’s dying.

Yea, I’ve got the pilosophical debate downpat... We’re all dying, it’s a state we move closer to each day from the moment we’re born. Or the next one, "Hey, the world could end tomorrow"... Or even "I could get run over by a greyhound bus the next time I cross the street" (although that one would be tricky considering where I live!)... All of those are valid. I get that. But Elly has a definite timeline... Her cancer has metastasized and is now in at least three areas of her body. She’s a decade younger than me and she’s dying.

This woman has seen the other side of hell from a very early period of her life and she’s survived with integrity and grit. With the first stroke of cancer, she lost her eye, but not her heart. She’s been through nineteen chemos... NINETEEN!!!... and she still moves forward with all of the love and compassion that anyone could ever possess.

As any of you know who have either had a serious condition or have known someone who has, there are days when that person BECOMES the disease... That’s all they are. I know it well. And, yes, sometimes Elly has days like that.

Sometimes she’s so angry that she doesn’t know what to do with it all. I’d be mad as hell and doubt I could ever stop raging. I’d be stomping my feet and screaming at the top of my lungs "It isn’t fair!!!".

And sometimes she cries...

She dreams of the grandchildren that have yet to come while she holds close those already born. She fears for the family, friends, and awesome husband she’ll leave behind. She doesn’t have a lot when it comes to material things, but she cherishes every tiny part of what she does have.

But, above all... She does NOT want to go!

When you look at her and speak to her... Wow! She has a smile that can light up a room and it flashes so easily. This does NOT look like our concept of someone at death’s door. It isn’t that she’s in denial of any sort. To paraphrase her, I’m not dead yet! And that’s how she lives... Not belly up and whining, but with passion and hope and love.

How many of us belly-up (not to the bar!) at the least hardship or complain that others can’t understand. True, no one can understand ANYTHING that another is going through, even if we’ve been in the same situation for the simple fact that we are not that other person. We can’t see through another’s eyes or heart or soul.

But, Elly... God, I wish you all could meet her. She will teach you what it means to fight for your life!

Thank you, Elly, for reminding me to count the things I have rather than complain about what I don’t have... to feel my strength rather than my limitations... to strive for beauty in a world that sometimes isn’t so lovely. But, most of all, Elly, thank you for coming into my life!

George Carlin has taken his show to the high road...

I had posted this the day after George Carlin died...

A great man died yesterday, an unmitigated arrogant ass, but a great man. How can I say that? He WAS an awesome individual and an equal opportunity pisser. No topic was too great or too small for him to trash. And, through all of the laughter (as well as drinks snorted through the nose when I was caught unaware... He should have come with a hazard warning), he made us all THINK. God, what a talent! The funny thing is that I believe he'd agree wholeheartedly with my evaluation of him. I "grew up" listening to him and have raised my kids (don't get excited, they're adults) on his rambles.

Could you imagine if we'd had someone like him for president? I doubt our country would be in the mess it's currently in since he never was one to take any shit. And can you imagine him meeting our Maker??? Wouldn't you love to be a fly on the wall for THAT introduction!

My oldest son's favorite to this day is the famous "Seven Words You Can't Say on TV". He can practically quote it verbatim. Mine? "Give my love to Mary"... "How can you give your love to someone and would you want to"... LMAO Good stuff.

However, he really pissed me off personally in the preface of one of his books, I believe it was "Napalm and Silly Putty", when he was talking about how he really didn't care about anything. How can a person not care??? Like I said, an equal opportunity pisser. But I still admired him and always will.

So... Tell me what you've learned from Carlin or tell me your favorites. Hell, tell me what a jerk I am for calling him an arrogant ass!

"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."
"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. "
"Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did."
"People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think."
"Think off-center."
"Weather forecast for tonight: dark."
"When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat."
"When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands."

And, so, Mr. Carlin... I wish you peace.
"Toodle-oo, go with God, and don't take any wooden nickels."