An Evening with the Dementias

This is something I wrote back in November. Most of you will read this and think "say what?" I've posted it here primarily for myself and those few who DO get it. A clue: the Dementias are my SPP characters and I was in a job that was slowly killing me.

So last night I called a meeting of all of the Dementias. I had something important to discuss and in these situations it's always best to turn to one's family to get all sides before making a decision. As always, Capt. Morgan Dementia walked straight to the bar and poured us all a drink. Then everyone gathered around... well, except for Lily Rose. She sat in the corner, sharpening her knives. There are times that the decided gleam in her eyes truly distresses me. *shudder* At any rate, once everyone was settled, I took a deep breath and said "Here's the thing... it's about this job. When I went into it, I was told that I'd have 2-3 days a week. They're only giving me one... a HARD one day, but one nevertheless. They write the schedule on Fridays, so I can't plan a weekend or anything else for that matter. There are some of my friends that I can only see on the weekends. And lastly, well... my body isn't holding up so well, particularly my left knee." At which point Lily Rose looked up and offered to remove the offending limb. I thanked her delicately (one must be very politic when dealing with Lily Rose) and declined her gracious offer. I went on to say "Plus there's this whole thing of the twit that insists on glaring at me continually and the lazy gits that manage to look busy without doing a damn thing". Auntie Gracie Marie Laveau declared she would turn them all into zombies... another offer I politely refused. Suddenly, Morticia snorted and gave me that look. You know the one. She spoke in her freezing voice, "And here I thought you were supposed to be some sort of genius! Are you OUT OF YOUR FREAKING MIND? Why are you still going to that job? It embarrasses me to even CALL it a job, you work so little. And for WHAT, might I ask? Do you honestly believe that little bit of money makes any difference? Then you're too tired to play with US. We should bar you from the family for this little tryst." She snorted again for effect, I believe. Everyone sat in stunned silence for several moments. Suddenly, the Boyz were intent on their spy games and head shrinking and such. Then I started crying and everyone gathered around hugging me, telling me they loved me, and we all settled in for a night of old horror movies. Well... I am now no longer employed. I mean, would YOU argue with the Dementias?