I cried for you today...

I cried for you today, even though you'll never know it.

I cried for your anger and frustration.  I cried because you been held back, knocked down, beleaguered and belittled... There was a time when you'd get right back up, but you no longer do.  You rail against the world and all of its wrongness so vehemently that you have forgotten to pause for the sweetness and beauty and those precious moments in time that make life worth the bull shit or monotony.  I cry because you're alone in the dark.

I cried for the little child who was so full of wonder and was wonderful to all that were met.  You had compassion and patience and love.  But life has not been kind to you.  I know that.  OMG, how I know that!  Because I stood beside you and held your hand through it all.  I sobbed in my own darkness as alone as you are now.

You and I, we always battled the limitations of our existence...  Together we fought for the right.  So many stood against us in their apathy, but we knew we had to speak and stand strong.  When did that die within you? Was it something I did or allowed or ignored???

I cried because it feels that I've lost my best friend, that person who knew me better than anyone else...  So I suppose that I must cry for myself as well.

I cried because you can't hear me anymore nor can you hear the whisper of the Light within you that says "You have value.  I love you.  You're not alone".

I cried because you're drowning in resentment of what others have perhaps wrongfully gained or of wrongs you've assigned to a Peoples or a Movement, screaming your rage against the world at large.  And I cried because I cannot stand with you in that microcosm of loathing and defiance...  and because I miss you.

Oh, heavens, how I miss you!  I miss chasing music  and rainbows and laughing over little inanities.  I miss the smile on your face when you know you've done something good and kind.  I miss the days that were full to the brim of "I can" and "I will", when there is now only the echoes of "I won't".

Can't you see how this anger is poisoning you, taking you so far from who you once were and could be?  Life is so harsh.  I can't live with you there.

So, I cried for you.