Coping with ADD

The other day, I had the misfortune of a long wait in a doctors office and had forgotten to bring along a book... Sacrilege, I know! I looked around, expecting to find ancient copies of Better Homes and Gardens (the New Victorian Craze!) or at least a National Geographic. Nope. Nothing. Nada. Just one half-shredded issue of Game and Fish in a basket full of "publications".

I don't know what to call those things... They haven't enough pages to be a magazine and they're too large to be called a pamphlet. You know the ones, all about various medical conditions. Well, lo and behold, there was one called "Attention: Information and Support for People Affected by AD/HD". Cool!

I picked it up and scanned through it. Lots about medicating and even an article in Spanish. But there was one particular article that caught my eye, "Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About AD/HD Coaching (But Were Too Busy to Ask)".

Back when I was young, ADD wasn't a known condition. I don't know if it was an available diagnosis, I only know that we never heard that term and no doctor ever suggested I might have it. When it was finally discovered that I am in fact ADD, I was already at that stage of my life in which I don't care for the idea of taking drugs for much of anything (there are a few exceptions, but I won't go into that here). Instead, I learned my own little coping mechanisms... All on my own! Aren't you proud of me??? LOL

Anyway, back to the article.

It seems that the idea behind this AD/HD coaching is sort of like AA or a Quit Smoking or Weight Loss program in that it provides the client with someone to back up the medication with a reinforcement regime and positive motivation. It's written by Nancy Ratey, EdM, MCC, SCAC (whatever all of those initials might represent!). What caught my attention (no pun intended) was her "Seven Coaching Tips".

1. Pre-Plan the Day Before
Always plan the next day before going to bed. This way you’ll have in your mind what you are going to do, when, and how. You will wake up more directed and centered.
2. Create Book Ends
Get up and go to bed at the same time each day. Having regular body rhythms, as well as predictability and consistency in your schedule, will help increase efficiency.
3. Exercise! Exercise! Exercise!
This is KEY to peak performance and to gaining focus and control. Don’t skip it ever!
4. Think in Terms of Threes
To reduce stress, ask yourself to name the three most pressing items for the day that, once completed, will make you feel a sense of accomplishment. These do not have to be BIG items; they can be returning a phone call, filing a file, etc. Write them down and keep that list in front of you. Cross each item off as you complete it. Then move to your next three pressing items.
5. Stop Avoiding
A well-known author once told me, “You become the first thing you do in the morning. If you want to be a writer, write.” People in general know which item on their to-do list that they want to do last. Identify that item and do it first. That is the first step in gaining control!
6. Park It
Distracted by random thoughts? Park them on a piece of notepaper to stay focused on the task at hand! By doing so you can go back to these items later and act on them if necessary. Often these distractions are just that distractions and not priority items.
7. Take Time to Play
Take time off as seriously as you do your year-end report. The cost-benefit of not taking breaks from today’s busy life only sets you up for burnout and loss of control.

Until I read this article, I hadn't realized that my personal coping methods were actually legitimate. I was amazed! And, here my kids just thought I was being anal. No. I've always told them that it's the only way I can get things accomplished since I'm so easily distracted (ooooooo shiny things... ). Here's my take on Ms. Ratey's steps:

1. Pre-Planning
At night before I do my boring little ritual (see prior post on ADD), I think about what I need to do the next day. Then I put these things into a sensible (to me) order. If I don't do it, then I don't typically accomplish much. It REALLY helps if I actually write myself a list, but that doesn't always happen. Witness, last night was an uncomfortable night for me so here I am writing this rather than getting to the things I should. I failed to create a plan.

2. Create Book Ends
I go to bed when I'm tired, so I guess I've never consciously tried this one. However, I usually wake up about the same time each morning and have my own morning rituals that I follow (read OCD!). After that, well, it depends on how well I've followed step 1.

3. Exercise! Exercise! Exercise!
Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! Yea, I DO have to have some sort of active period in my day. I try to make it something fun. Sometimes it's a game of musical furniture. In the spring, it might be musical garden! I had thought I'd reached the age at which I didn't need to move so much, but I recently had a friend nickname me "Pop Tart"... Guess I was wrong! Right now, I suppose my PT regime falls under the category of exercise (I can even read while I'm doing the routines on the Total Gym. Nifty, eh?). I've tried walking. Boring! Maybe someone out there can give me some pointers on this one? I've been forbidden to do yoga or real weights right now and can't do aerobics because of my knees. Frustrating!

4. Think in Terms of Threes
I've always kept a short list in my planning, then a list of "if I get this done, I can...". None of the things were as simple as the ones she suggests. But she has a great point about the short list. A sense of having met a goal spurs me on.

5. Stop Avoiding
Oh God! I am the world's WORST procrastinator! LOL Read this one over and over and over... It is a must!

6. Park It
Yup... Make those lists. There's a sign in ASL that can be interpreted as "off point", meaning to stray from the topic. That's me in a nutshell. I get so pissed at myself when I forget things I want to do. Definitely makes me a cranky girl and that helps nothing.

7. Take Time to Play
Did I mention that I'm sitting here at the computer rather than doing what I should??? I take my play time QUITE seriously. I blog, have pages on Myspace, Facebook, and Twitter, and I have friends with whom I e-mail on a regular basis. New comments and chatty e-mails are what make my day more positive and goad me on to do what I need to do. I also read and paint when the mood strikes me.

So, you see, my brain actually figured out something right all on its own. Amazing!

Whether you take medication for ADD or not, follow these pointers. They're great.

And, so I will leave you with a poem that I wrote back in 1992. This is really how my mind works... Scary, I know! LOL

I Can’t Think!

Firecrackers of color

explode in my brain.

Ideas plip-plop.....Wait!

What was that?

She said what?

I can’t do it!....or can I?

If I try?

What if I did this....

Frustration, confusion,

immense desperation.

INPUT........IN

PUT.....INPUT

Thousands of ideas

incomplete.

I feel another thought.....

I can’t believe he said that.....

What point was I making?

Who did what?

How could I......

But what should I......

I forget......

HELP!!!!!!

We Suck!

We have become a society of apathetic morons.

Let’s look at the environment… The experts have been telling us for decades that we’re fucking it up. We’re treating our world like it’s our own personal toilet. We’re constantly taking a mega-dump with all of the refuse of our lives.

Driving down the road and finishing up that burger and Coke… out the window with the trash. After all, we don’t want to mess up our cars, do we? Finished with that cigarette? Throw it out there, too. It isn’t going to start a fire. That’s crazy. And who cares if it’ll take a decade for that filter to break down? It’s just one little cigarette butt.

Tired of that old recliner? TV isn’t working quite right? Throw them into the local landfill. Why should we even consider fixing something when it’s so easy (and often cheaper) to replace it with something new. After all, we deserve the newest and best. Recycle? Reduce? Reuse? Why???

How about disaster victims? We look abroad to see horrendous things happen and we are SO there. People! What about the hurricanes, the fires, and the floods we have right here in our own backyards? Sure, at the beginning we’re all about “Oh, how awful” or “Send help fast”. But give it a couple of weeks and we start screaming at the Powers That Be about “wasting money” to help out the areas hit. Does the general public not have any idea how long it takes to rebuild?

We have our own poor and starving. Why are we so fixated on those in other countries? What's up with that?

We have a huge population of people with various conditions that require special considerations on a day to day basis.

The Deaf have their issues with the hearing. Hey, you can talk about a Deaf person right in front of them… If they aren’t facing you, they haven’t a clue. Pretty fun, huh? Yank their chain a bit? Why not?

Do you know how EASY it would be to teach our kids fingerspelling and American Sign Language along with their ABCs and grammar? Never mind that it’s been proven to reinforce learning in kids. But we teach our kids Spanish? What’s wrong with this picture?

Handicapped parking. Oooo, there’s a big one! Let’s borrow Grandma’s car since it’s cold and raining so we don’t have to walk so far. So what if someone has to unload a wheelchair or if they use a cane or walker. They might not even go to the store today.

There are countless individuals with diabetes, epilepsy, Parkinson’s, and more. We have a growing population of seniors. All of these people require various considerations or, at the very least, knowledge and understanding. Why should we take a bit of time to learn anything that might help make these people’s lives any easier? It isn’t us, right?

And God forbid that anyone should have an emergency requiring immediate attention by a government official, physician, or corporation. Have we cried “wolf” too often? The Powers That Be certainly seem inured to the possible need for an expedited solution.

We talk about how advances in civilization have made the world a smaller place. I say that the world is vanishing for many. We’ve taken advantage of the luxuries that computers have provided to the point that some of us don’t even have to leave home unless we choose.

We can shop online. We can work online. Hell, we can even have friends and lovers online without all of the messiness and time traditionally involved! The New Improved Friends in a Box! Need to take the edge off? We have the Lovely Libby Live on web cam! Yes, we can do it all on our own schedule for only $19.95. No muss, no fuss.

Back in the day, when someone moved into a neighborhood, there would be a welcome wagon. How many of us even know what our closest neighbors look like?

There was a time when our elders were respected and revered, taken into our homes if necessary. One of the largest growing businesses today is the nursing home or assisted living venue. Why should we be bothered if Grandpa can’t handle things on his own anymore? We’ve got things to do and people to see… Plus there’s that 9pm with the computer.

We are indeed a population of egocentric fools.

Is this a fad or a trend? I hope to hell it’s the former! If not, we are so screwed.

Yea… Apathy. It’s not just for breakfast anymore.

They say I have ADD, but they don't understand...

I cracked up when I first saw this t-shirt! Yes, I am the poster child for ADD. My daughter would argue and say that she and my grandson are. Oh, well... I'll be generous and say that the three of us can share the title! LOL

I just realized that the last three posts I've made have been on the same subject. Enough of that! I have a reputation to live down to.

It amazes me, the number of people who have decided that ADD absolutely must be treated medically. Let's all run out and grab some Ritalin! Nope. Think of how recently the condition has become a regular diagnosis... Ugh. Those of us who are older had to learn mechanisms for dealing with it and we have! Yay us!!! I won't say that meds aren't the answer for everyone, just that society is too free with them.

My mind is constantly all over the place. I might be talking to you or typing in here and, I guarantee you, there are at LEAST three other activities going on in this tired little brain of mine. Actually falling asleep when I lay down in bed at night? Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!

Before I go to bed, I have to have at least two of these conditions well established: Mentally exhausted, physically exhausted, sick, have a low pain level (I have tons of old, fairly serious injuries that still ache), have a few drinks in me, or take a handy dandy benadryl (I don't do sleeping pills and benadryl is what's in all of those PM formulas like Tylenol PM, etc.). If only one of those conditions exist, it's insane.

I lay down and start relax. Think how wonderful my nice comfy bed feels. A gentle smile begins spreading across my face. Yummmmmmmmm... Suddenly, my brain kicks in! "I know, I know!!! That's what we'll do tomorrow!" or "OMG I can't believe I did that" or "What's going on with ____?" or "Shit. I forgot ____" or all of the above plus more. The thoughts grow until they're of monstrous proportions. I deal with one topic and then the next insinuates itself in my brain. Then it's all circling around until I want to scream.

So, what to do? One of the mechanisms I've learned is to intensely focus on one thing... And that one thing has to be incredibly boring. So, I'll think about going to the grocery store with my list in hand. I'll picture myself going down each and every aisle, picking up the things I need and putting them in my basket, etc. Or I'll go through the household chores for the next day and mentally move through all of the tasks. If my mind tries to deviate, I have to rein it back in and focus more strenuously. It takes a hell of a lot of discipline and "discipline" is SO not my middle name! LOL If I'm only mentally tired, the whole routine is even more difficult. Loads of fun. Blah.

And moving through daily existence? Let me tell you, if you can hold my undivided attention through thirty minutes of conversation, you are truly someone special! Every comment leads to ten sidebars in this overworked little brain of mine. Even writing these posts takes an inordinate amount of time since I frequently get sidetracked.

So, what do I do about all of the real life stuff? I find ways to make the everyday stuff more pleasurable (read my post about Rituals) or find some exciting element in even the most mundane. Vacuuming leads to musical furniture. A day of running errands becomes lunch with a friend or a trip to Pier 1 (yes, I'm an addict!).

Learning new things can be quite difficult. For many matters, the learning process is far from stimulating... Not all of the time, just mostly. At least to me. The best way for me to learn is not from books or instructions, rather from an individual that is passionate, excited about what they're doing. And the new thing has to hold some interest for me (with those things I absolutely MUST learn, it can be almost impossible to find that interest) or present a challenge. Give me dry text and all I can deal with is a paragraph or two before the thing goes flying across the room (did I mention I have a temper??? ).

I have a fairly high IQ (scary, isn't it?). I don't know if that's common with ALL individuals with ADD. However, it applies to most I know. I WANT to be challenged! I WANT to be able to know or do uncommon things. It gives me my little "tee hee's" in life. It's very important to have those "tee hee's", ya know.

And driving? OMG One of my psych professors taught us that when we become comfortable with driving, we all enter this zone that's sort of like an automatic pilot. Add in a brain that's examining a variety of subjects at the speed of light... Well, I sometimes wonder that they let me have a license! Of course, that's an opinion I hold for 80% of the drivers on the road. Didn't they really get their licenses at the local discount store??? I can't tell you the number of times I've ended up taking a scenic route to my destination since I get sidetracked by my thoughts. I wind up driving towards one of my "normal" places rather than a place that might be a different direction.

I have ADD, not ADHD. Sometimes I feel that "H" is thrown around entirely too frequently as well. Some people are just naturally kinetic. And, kids? OMG I can't believe we expect them to sit through hours and hours of the educational process! I can't sit down that long and I've been on this planet for more than half a century.

I have a friend in the educational field who once said that all seventh graders should have nothing but gym class that entire school year. I loved that comment and heartily agree. Perhaps elementary school kids should spend at least the first two hours of their day in the same circumstance. Let them bounce off of the walls for a while, get past that endorphin stage, and THEN sit down to learn.

Another psych professor of mine once gave this alarming statistic: Something like 80% (it's been a while so I could be wrong on the exact percentage) of prison inmates are or have been on Ritalin. Now, is this a result of the condition or the drug? That's a question that neuropsychologists have been studying for ages. Still, it's a scary thought, isn't it.

So I say, let's enjoy our hyper brains. Find some mechanism that works for you and let's all have a good time with life. Put the fun back into dyfunctional! WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

STDs and the Older Generation

I was told about this article in the news and just HAD to check it out. It's a thing that most of us never consider, Grandma and Grandpa getting laid... Ewwwwwwww! Right? LOL Not!

I'm a member of that rather grey area that used to be called over-the-hill and is now called the "new 30s"... or is it 40s???... Hell, I don't know. The point is that sex is still a part of the lives of myself and everyone I know (yea, we girls seriously TALK about you men out there, so beware! Mwahahahahaha).

This article is one of many I Googled that discusses the alarming rise of STDs in those 45 and older. Most of the publications cite the cause as the rise in middle age divorce and the ease of online dating (my daughter states unequivocally that the internet is evil. I guess this is an instance in which it might possibly be true). Another reason given is the creation of Viagra and other solutions for ED.

The truly disturbing reason given is ignorance, that no one is discussing these issues with older individuals. Come on! My mother seriously believed that a person got pregnant by French kissing!!! Just because our seniors have done it all that doesn't mean that they necessarily know the hows and whys of everything.

So, read this article or others like it. Then buy your Grandma or Grandpa a copy of "Sex for Dummies" or an "Idiots Guide" or something of that ilk (ignoring the humiliating titles). Give them a chance to SAFELY enjoy the hell out of their later years. Aren't we all happier when we getting laid???

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1819633,00.html